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What to do if you are a victim of domestic violence

Domestic abuse does not just mean that your partner is hitting you. The abuse can be physical, sexual or verbal.

Domestic violence can also include many things, such as the constant breaking of trust, psychological games, harassment and financial control.

It can impact adults in all types of relationships and can also involve violence between parents and children.

If you are in an abusive relationship, there are three important steps you must take:

• recognise that it is happening to you
• accept that you are not to blame
• get help and support

• Domestic violence (young people section)

• Dealing with relationship problems (parents section)

Getting help

This is perhaps the most important thing that you can do.

In an emergency, call 999. Domestic violence is treated very seriously by the police, and they will take action to protect you.

If it is not an emergency, you could contact your local police station and discuss your situation with them. You can also contact independent organisations such as Victims’ Support to ask for help and advice.

Police and social workers will use tact and care in order to protect you, and to make sure that you get the help you need. They can put you in touch with volunteer organisations who provide refuge accommodation where you’ll be safe.

• Find a police force, neighbourhood policing team or police authority

• Victims of crime

Advice and support

There are many people and organisations you can turn to if you are suffering from domestic violence. Your GP, for example, can direct you to groups that work with victims of abuse. They can point you to local support groups and charities that help victims and their children escape the cycle of violence.

If you don’t want to discuss it with your GP, you can call one of the helplines listed below.

They can make sure you find safe emergency refuge accommodation and connect you with people who can ensure that you’re protected. You do not have to tell them your name.

The helplines include:

• English national domestic violence helpline: 0808 2000 247
• Northern Ireland Women's Aid 24-hour domestic violence helpline: 0800 917 1414
• Scottish domestic abuse helpline: 0800 027 1234
• Wales domestic abuse helpline: 0808 80 10 800
• men’s advice and enquiry line: 0808 801 0327

Rights of domestic abuse victims

Children and your rights

Your abuser may threaten that if you leave or tell anyone about what's happening, your child will be taken away from you. It’s important that you know that Social Services will not take your child away for this reason.

If you fear your partner will abduct your children, get advice as soon as possible. Your local Women's Aid group, Refuge, Law Centre, Citizens Advice Bureau or a solicitor can advise you on how to protect your child. They will explain how contact between your child and a violent partner can be restricted.

These groups will explain that, under the Family Law Act 1996, you can apply for an order that will protect you from threats or violence (this is called a ‘non-molestation order’).

Your home and your rights

You can apply for an order that will protect your right to live safely in your family home (this is called an ‘occupation order’). If granted, it would order your abuser to move out of the house, and forbid him even to enter it.

If you are in this situation please contact one of the advice groups

If you’re a young person in an abusive relationship, find out more in the young people’s section.

• Women's Aid Opens new window

• Law Centres Federation Opens new window

• Citizens Advice Bureaux Opens new window

More useful links

• Refuge - advice and places of safety Opens new window

• Men's Advice Line Opens new window

• Living without fear - the Women and Equality Unit Opens new window