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Counselling

A counsellor can help you discuss emotive issues and will help couples that want to save their marriage. Counsellors are professionally trained, though some offer their services voluntarily. They are trained to listen and to help you to work out your own solutions to relationship problems. They don’t negotiate for you or tell you what to do.

Family support is counselling that can help the whole family to deal with problems and prevent relationships breaking down and families splitting up.

Tackling problems early is important in order to save a relationship. The longer a problem is left unresolved, the harder it usually is to deal with it.

Counselling can also help a family to accept what is happening to them and to deal with the emotional stress that separation or divorce can cause within a family. Attempting to work things out through counselling or mediation could lead to better family decisions and long-term relationships after the divorce.

Mediation

Mediation is different from counselling and is more concerned with dealing with the practicalities of day-to-day life following relationship breakdown. It is more like negotiating an agreement and resolving a dispute without involving lawyers or the courts. You can ask a trained family mediator to act as an impartial third party; they will help couples come to an agreement without bias or being on anyone’s 'side'. Public funding is available for those who qualify for legal aid. The funding is for mediation, for legal help during and after mediation, and for legal advice on any agreements reached.

You can find mediation services in your area by calling the Family Mediation Helpline on 0845 60 26 627, or by visiting the websites below.

Mediation during a divorce, civil partnership dissolution, or separation

You can negotiate directly with your partner and reach agreement without any outside help about issues like your children’s care and splitting property and finance. That is usually the best way. You may not be able to reach agreement on everything, but it can still help to make issues easier to resolve even if you go to court.

Mediation can be used when you have decided to go ahead with a divorce, dissolution or separation, by helping you to work out solutions in ways that reduce confrontation.

Find mediation services

• Family Mediation Helpline Opens new window
• Directory of marriage and relationship support service providers Opens new window
• Mediation services and mediators near you Opens new window
• Legal Services Commission website Opens new window
• Community Legal Advice Opens new window

Tax credits and relationship breakdown

If you received tax credits as a couple but have now split up, and you want to make a claim as a single person, you don't need to fill in a new claim form. You can make your new claim over the phone by calling the Tax Credit Helpline on 0845 300 3900 or textphone 0845 300 3909.

• Tax credits when your partner leaves or a new partner moves in Opens new window

More useful links

• Domestic violence: getting help (crime, justice and the law section)
• Dealing with the emotional side of divorce Opens new window
• Online advice about counselling Opens new window
• Relate Opens new window
• Help and information for victims of domestic violence Opens new window
• General advice on alternatives to court Opens new window